Interlude before conclusion: Why Bad Guy Types and every princess' guilty pleasure.

Welcome to the Interlude before conclusion of my current series of blog posts.This series has been on why 'Bad guy types are every princess' guilty pleasure'? Essentially I have been highlighting the fact that even a girl who may have had a very sheltered upbringing and may be considered the quintessential 'Daddy's Little Girl ',  can find herself drawn to risqué      personality types. In a teenage boy! In other words she becomes infatuated with a teenage boy that is essentially a 'rulebreaker' within her community! 

This phenomenon has puzzled parents, especially Daddies for generations now!!They have wondered about the charisma such boys appear to have and tried to understand what is behind their appeal to teenage girls? 

What I have been stating are my own perspectives on this. Just as I have stressed in my previous blog, this isn't a comment about teenage boys in general. The dynamics could be experienced in a role reversal whereby the one who is exhibiting such traits are girls!! In other words it is possible to have a case of  a 'bad gal type. 'However, I am not going to delve into that yet. This will require a bit more research on my part and then perhaps be featured in a subsequent blog.

Many teenage boys want to understand  what makes a girl 'tick '. They are curious to the point of dedication! As a result they invest a considerable amount of their time and energy  pursuing girls who are their peers. Such girls also, are experiencing  changes within their bodies as part of a developmental milestone. They are transitioning via puberty into adulthood. Although they are still teenagers. But until full adulthood in their twenties, girls 
continue to undergo these physiological changes which by the way are in may instances  overwhelming!

This is because they are navigating 'hormonal changes' without the kind of hindsight resourced by any precedent. An adult on the other hand would have had the some life experiences and even painful mistakes they have made which they can fall back on to help inform their decisions!Teenage girls on the other hand have not got many tools at their disposal whilst attempting to 'process' for themselves all that is happening in their own bodies. They want to understand  themselves better through exploring their own feelings about boys! Including trying to gain insights into why they appear to have an instant connection 'chemistry' with certain boy types and not others. 

Daddies, this is what happens to your daughter at puberty! The presence of boys, which may not have been something that she cared much about previously all of a suddenl becomes a pressing headline event ! Overnight, boys become such a big deal! Your daughter is suddenly impacted by an awareness about boys!The effect on her is a degree of curiousity almost akin to just discovering a new species! Only this new species consists of members of a gender opposite to her! The impact of this discovery on her is cataclysmic!!! As if this is not enough it occurs on a daily basis, and the thought of boys constantly dominates her thinking!She daydreams her teenage life from one rollercoaster ride to the next one!!! So what are these rides like!!

 A sleeping tigress of passion is being aroused inside her. Inside your teenage daughter!!It doesn't feel like a tigress at first. Because this passion whenever it is stirred  in her makes the teenage girl feel the most thrilling emotional and sensory experience she has ever felt!! Welcoming your teenager to a myriad world of hormones!!! 

More about that in a moment! Imagine the Daddy of a teenage daughter trying to make a connection with the fast evolving young individual she is fast becoming! This individual  may have once been content expressing her identity mainly as Daddy's little girl! He has enjoyed this phase in which he had been the focus of her attention.He observes that she no longer responds the way she previously did (as a little girl) to being called by affectionate names. This young person now wants Daddy to 'stop treating her as a little girl' and is articulating that she no longer feels when he  refers to her affectionately as 'Daddy's little girl'  it is a compliment.

She wants to be recognised as a young adult!!! Her Daddy is thinking: 'Not yet Sixteen and a young adults?' But his daughter wants to be accepted by her peer group and noticed by boys who are part of that group! They are unlikely to be impressed with her if they think  she is still her Daddy's little girl! This is perfectly logical! But her Daddy is beginning to 'panic.' To him this feels like.....no!!!This spells t-r-o-u-b-l-e!!!TROUBLE!TROUBLE!TROUBLE! He gets slightly illogical in thinking  'all boys will be boys' right? She did not use to be interested in boys but now she 'idolises' teenage boys in pop culture. She dreams is constantly dreaming about boys!That the one she has a crush on will oneday notice her. She daydreams for hours endlessly and sets up an imaginary camp in her own fantasy world!



WHO AM I? A CONSTANT QUEST EVERY TEENAGER HAS TO PURSUE!

Meanwhile your teenage daughter wants and needs to be taken seriously because she is experiencing emotions, a wealth of them that she feels overwhelmed by. She is also struggling with being compliant with domestic rule keeping within the home environment.Especially the very rules which had previously not been an issue! Her questioning of nearly everything and constant push back is her attempt to figure out who she is, part of attaining that is to carve out her own identity! Daddy, give her space, give her time but be very lovingly close by and accesible to rescue her as she asserts herself and her emerging identity is unveiled.



 I  now invite you to join me in looking at the world through the imaginary eyes of our 15 year old who happens to be the protogonist of our blog. , A protagonist is ' the leading character or one of the major characters in a play, film, novel, etc.'. Secondly it is 'an adovate or champion of a particular cause or idea'. 

This is where I would like you who are reading this to try getting the attention of any daddy's who are in the 'vicinity' where you are reaing this! E-s-p-e-c-i-a-l-l-y if that daddy has a teenage daughter. The idea which I am advocating in these series of blogs is that however a Daddy may love his daughter and however unconditional that love may be, the relationship they have with their daughter will be tested!!!

CHANGED, CHOKED OR CHARGED!

You relationship with your daughter will either be changed, choked or be charged once she is through her puberty years! If it is changed then there is work to be done to bring it back to a functioning level but the light may be dimned but it has not been put out. If it is choked then there is a very serious breakdown in communication and your relationship has become dysfunctional! There are certain Dad and daughter relationships which actually become 'charged' in other words become wonderfully transformed within the light of those teenage years. The testing of this bond is not something to be scared of, Daddy!! But you can employ different tools in your expanding tool kit to skillfully diffuse the situation. I will like to refer to my previous blog(part 3 in this series). 

What is it about teenage girls, which makes them risk so much in order to pursue the affection that they feel can be received from a boy or in some cases an older man? Even most importantly 'why are they so drawn to the bad boy type?' Why do they risk their potential status and all the benefits which come with not rebelling and just remaining the much beloved princess within a daddy's life? Even more interstingly why do they stick to the opposite of the type of guys that their daddy recommends? This ends the Interluds.