Sunday, 5 September 2010
Issues affecting children of marriages that break up!(Part 2)
John, what are you suggesting? That mum and dad not make any attempts to get along? I am not trying to undermine, any inclination towards preserving a consensus of civility between each other! However, I am suggesting that mum decides, 'unilaterally', that she is going to be an agent of peace and tranquility! That Dad decides, unilaterally, he would pursue peace! I am also saying that mum and dad resist any compromises , that fall short of the original intention of the relationship! That the two shall be one. I AM AWARE THAT STATEMENTS LIKE THE ONES I HAVE JUST MADE WOULD HAVE TO BE CLARIFIED! PLEASE CONTINUE READING TO OBTAIN A CLEARER PICTURE OF WHAT I AM TRYING TO DESCRIBE!
When the two, both mum and dad are determined to pursue peace towards others and not indulge in strife, a degree of tranquility and security will prevail! Inspite of the dysfunctional nature or the state of dysfunction within their relationship ! Hopefully, an indirect result of 'prayer generated change'can bring about a latent effect within their situation. Yes,positive results!It only takes one of them praying or others praying for them,for healing to be a)effected in them individually,and b)through each other. Question: How is this going to benefit their children?
Children of divorced or separated parents want more than compromises between mum and dad!Their ultimate desire, which is a good reflection of their need, is for the healing and restoration of their parent's relationship.PERSONALLY, I BELIEVE A DEGREE OF WHOLENESS CAN OCCUR,EVEN IF BOTH PARENTS END UP GOING THEIR SEPARATE WAYS! And sometimes, that is exactly what happens! Atleast this is the case in a growing number of real life scenarios. I admit, this is not the ideal! However, the non-ideal is becoming a growing occurrence. It cannot simply be ignored, it must be commented upon. It must be responded to! THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS FOR REFLECTIONS LIKE THIS ONE.
Just like I have pointed out above, in a growing number of cases,parents end up going their separate ways! This creates genuine theological and doctrinal issues, which may never be resolved within particular church denominations! However,families existed before denominations of churches! FAMILIES WOULD NEED TO MOVE FORWARD AS A UNIT, EVEN WHEN INDIVIDUALS IN THAT UNIT ARE WRITTEN OFF BY ONE THEOLOGICAL EMPHASIS OR THE OTHER!
In conclusion to part 2: I am determined in my reflections here, not to stall at individual doctrinal positions about marriage breakdown!As a result, I am adopting the position that,true healing, can be evident in a relationship, even if both parties are never Restored in their relationship as 'Husband and wife'! AND IF THEY END UP IN A REMARRIAGE SITUATION, ALTHOUGH THEIR REMARRIAGE TO ANOTHER PARTNER IS PREMEDITATED!
(CONTINUED IN PART 3)
Copyright(C)2010 John Agbenyega Williamson
Saturday, 4 September 2010
Issues affecting children of marriages that break up!(Part 1)
Adults can easily escape into the diversion of work! Children usually, only have two kinds of outlets: one steming from negative emotions such as anger, resentment, distress and the other from more creative ones, which often result in fantasizing, daydreaming!
An adult may succeed well in blocking out, relational issues he or she faces!A CHILD HAS NO PLACE TO HIDE! His or her very world is being threatened when mum or dad cannot get along. He or she has no life experiences in helping determine possible outcomes!No way of applying through firsthand experience conventional insights,that interpreted highlight the age old wisdom: THIS ONE TOO WILL PASS!
The Adults who are caught in the Crossfire of a failed relationship are often aware of some degree of suffering that their beloved little darlings are undergoing. Naturally, they want to protect their loved ones. IT IS AT THIS STAGE THAT A LOT OF COMPROMISE IS STRUCK.
They agree to do certain things,'forthe sake of the children'. But this is where the biggest mistakes are made!Because the very rationale behind the reasoning is flawed! When two people who once loved each other, agree to get along, for the sake of a third party;even though in reference to their own children.They are rewriting the committment they once made to each other!(contd in Part 2)
Copyright(C)2010 John Agbenyega Williamson
Friday, 13 August 2010
'WHAT GOD HAS PUT TOGETHER' PART 3(From my Tenth Wedding Anniversary Reflections)
You get an even worse treatment if you have been involved in a divorce, because believing folks take the highroad of judgement! You are written off in most cases!'Until you are restored' , which is another way of saying 'you are finished!'
So we need the help of our therapist JC. JC instituted the marriage covenant declaring 'WHAT GOD HAS PUT TOGETHER, LET NO MAN PUT ASUNDER'. We already have an idea of a legalistic interpretation of these words. But I would like to give an example of how JC handled one of his own pronouncemnts. It is on the issue of Adultery. The seventh commandment. A woman caught in the very act of Adultery was brought to Jesus. The story is found in the eigth chapter of John's Gospel
John 8
John 8
1But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" 6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
11"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
My comment: Clearly, JC did not contradict the Torah(the Laws of Moses). However His interpretation was very clear. JUDGEMENT IS GOD'S JURISDICTION. IT SHOULD ONLY BE ENFORCED BY A FELLOW HUMAN BEING WHO HAS ALREADY ATTAINED THE LEVEL OF SINLESS PERFECTION THAT GOD REQUIRED. THE TRUTH THEN WAS , ONLY JC COULD CLAIM THAT LEVEL OF SINLESS PERFECTION. NONE OF THE LEGALISTS IN JC'S EARTHLY ERA HAD ATTAINED SINLESS PERFECTION. I AM YET TO HEAR OF A BELIEVER IN OUR ERA WHO WOULD ADMIT TO HAVING ATTAINED THE SAME LEVEL OF SINLESS PERFECTION. IF NO ONE WAS CONSIDERED 'MORALLY QUALIFIED' TO CONDEMN AN ADULTERER WHEN JESUS WALKED THE SEA SHORES OF GALILEE YEARS AGO, WHY ARE FOLKS GETTING DELUDED THAT BECAUSE THEY HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR A BIT LONGER THAN SOMEONE WHOSE MARRIAGE HAS FAILED, THEY HAVE SUDDENLY BEEN AWARDED THE DIVINE JURISDICTION TO JUDGE AND CONDEMN A WOUNDED COUPLE!
What was JC's approach. He advocated loving our hurting neighbour as a 'good samaritan' would do! Who is a good samaritan? Someone who has every excuse for neglecting the wounded. Because these particular casualty is not part of their 'preferred group' . But instead, the good samaritan sees beyond skin colour, denominational lines, ethnic differences, risk to himself and his reputation, endangers himself Just to help. In contrast, the levitical legalist is in a hurry to DO GOD'S WORK AND COULD NOT AFFORD TO SPARE THE MOMENT IN HELPING HIS FELLOW JEWISH BELIEVER(IN THAT PARTICULAR INCIDENT). Doesn't this sound familiar? Folks that is why I am writing this. Are you hurting? Recognise the support when it is God sent, because it may not always come through the doors of your local church community.May I add this dear Christian. If you are hurting from a failed relationship, a broken marriage, separated, just beware of anyone obsessed by statistics of failed marriages. GOD DOES NOT SEE YOU AS ANOTHER STATISTIC, INSTEAD HE SEES YOU AS ONE OF HIS WOUNDED SHEEP....IN NEED OF CRITICAL CARE! GOD IS NOT TRYING TO IMPROVE THE BRAND OF HIS CHURCH IN THE WORLD! HE IS TRYING TO HEAL THE INNER PAINS OF HIS CHILDREN
Copyright(C)2010 John Agbenyega Williamson
Thursday, 12 August 2010
'What God Has Put Together....' From my Tenth Wedding Anniversary Reflections.(Part 2)
Well, if it doesn't make sense to an accident injured casualty, it shouldn't be the approach used in dealing with a range of situations involving Christian living. Yet, it is the preferred approach used within the so-called community of believers, when a brother or sister stumbles or falls. Today, I am highlighting this element in how separated/divorced christian couples are handled by other believers. One illustration of a legalistic position : Brother A and Sister A1 are married for years. They separate in the first 7 years. The community of believers, closely associated with their particular Christian denomination, hears about their situation. Immediately, a lot of pressure is piled on them with well intentioned scriptural admonitions such as 'GOD HATES DIVORCE' , 'WHAT GOD HAS PUT TOGETHER, LET NO MAN PUT ASUNDER', and as if this is not enough they are also made aware scriptures such as ' HE WHO DIVORCES HIS WIFE/HUSBAND EXCEPT ON GROUNDS OF SEXUAL IMMORALITY AND REMARRIES COMMITS ADULTERY ETC'. Incidentally, that is the main focus of the admonishing received by folks who are on the firing line! My conviction is that, simply hurling such scriptural admonition at folks who are experiencing a troubled relationship is equivalent to 'lecturing a wounded motorist' about traffic lessons or driving skills'
Why? Just like the casualty, a wounded motorist needs prompt medical attention, folks who are separated or divorced are experiencing the trauma of an emotional or spiritual wound. If simply lecturing a wounded motorist on how to avoid the mistakes which led to the accidents isn't going to heal them, neither should we use such an approach when dealing with wounded or separated folks.
Our priority first of all must be to find them Nurturing, loving care, the kind we give a sick patient. What do we do to an injured motorist. We provide first aid, when their condition is stable, then the paramedics transport them as an emergency to the hospital, for skilled 24 hour care! It is only when they are out of the 'critical state' and stable that they are either transferred for gradual recovery or discharged home in minor cases. NOW, IF THE MEDICAL WORLD HAS THAT LEVEL OF NATURAL DECENCY OR COMMON SENSE, WHY DO SO CALLED BELIEVERS INSIST ON SHOOTING AND FATALLY WOUNDING FOLKS WHO HAVE EXPERIENCE 'MARITAL ACCIDENTS'?
Copyright(C)2010 John Agbenyega Williamson
Sunday, 24 February 2008
Pastor Victor Iruobe:Possessing Our possession Part 2.
GIVE ME THE MOUNTAIN
Let us read Joshua 13:1 '
Joshua 14:6So he says i was forty years when the land was.45rt ... when moses the servant of the Lord sent me to ......and i brought him back a report according to my convictions. The ....who went out with me made the heart of the vpeople melt with fear. The categories .............there was a group of people that saw opportunity in every difficulty and there was also a group that saw difficulty in every opportunity. And he said now here i am ......(how old was he at this stage of his life?).....years old.
I have followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly(How did Caleb follow God?). If you have understanding about what you will gain as a result of serving God wholeheartedly, you will be motivated in your service of the Lord. (pt of affirmation ASK YOURSELF, HOW DO I SERVE GOD? THEN AFFIRM, 'I AM EXPECTED TO SERVE GOD WHOLEHEARTEDLY).
......................Moses statement........
There is a lot/world.....to gain from serving the Lord wholeheartedly......what he said to moses......'so here i am today still as strong as when i was ......in my forties when Moses sent me....(Object lesson)' i am still as strong as the day moses sent me. I am just as vigorous today as i was when he sent us 45 years ago........(reading on)NOW GIVE THE MOUNTAIN!
GIVE ME THE MOUNTAIN
Now give me the mountain! Now do not forget that Lot Abraham's nephew(at a younger age than Caleb was when he spoke the words 'Give me the mountain) was asked by the Angels to run to the monutains, however he opted for the hills instead( ). This is the contrast between a younger man and an older man. (Repeat this affirmation:Success does not come on a platter of gold.It involves taking the mountains)Caleb said to Joshua ' Give me the mountains which the Lord promised me that day....
.....v45 but the Lord helping me...........
Object lesson: It would have been a different case if God had not made a promise! But as a reslut of His promise the following situations will be subdued;failures,difficult situations and the list goes on.
Joshua presents to us a true picture of success
Observe this carefully: Joshua presents to us a true picture of success. What is Success? Success is not limited to financial success and it certainly does not depend on your bank balance. In other words how much there is in credit.Well one way of defining success is by pointing out what it isn't:
1. Success is not determined by what others say about you. .....................................................
2. Succes will not happen if prayer(both corporate and private) are neglected. This is why prayer meetings can effective change in favour of individual and group success. During prayer times, those involved are literally in a battle to win victories in life. Success is also the result of battles fought and won after times of prayer.
3.
Success :
1. Must be based on what God says about you. It involves keeping God's word alive and preserving it....against the odds. (comment....some have already given up on their God-given vision and allowing it to fall by ..................................
2. Success does not come easily. It involves battling through prayer.(when you honour prayer prayer honours you too). 'Caleb said i am just as vigorous to go to battle now ).
3. Requires a wholehearted pursuit of God.
4. Serve God according to Conviction. That is faith! To build up your conviction .
5. Readiness for battle. You've got to fight. In order to effectively do this you need to conduct your life in full awareness of the enemy.
Here is a story of one pastor's experience with church planting: .......A pastor started his church close to a Nursing Home for the Elderly...........during the service the old people fell asleep. Perhaps they were dreamt in fulfillment of Old Testament scripture:This wa
Another story was about University Christian fellowship: the e
Closing Affirmation: This is my year of making it happen.
Prayer: Give God the glory for his word. Thank you Lord for your word.
What then
Next sunday i will be teaching on 'How to handle storms'. This message will give some insights on how to 'fly through storms' . At the sight of a storm so many people give up their vision, saying that 'it is too difficult', 'it is impossible'
Visit our website at www.vocation4lifefoundation.org
Friday, 22 February 2008
Pastor Victor Iruobe:Possessing Our possession.
Affirmation:(Say to each other) Neighbour, i am happy to be in church this morining and enjoy God's corporate annointing this morning.......Neighbour i am happy to see your face this morning. You look more wonderful today than you did the last time i saw you....Together we will have a good time this morning.
Opening Remarks: .......Ladies and gentlemen, this morning there are things belonging to you which are not yet in your possession. We began a success series for almost four weeks now! During this period we have been examining various situations and how to address them.This morning we would be looking at the certain key words and phrases. The word 'things' is a key word which occurs within our message for a number of reasons.'F'irst of all .......,secondly it is clearly stated in scripture that 'God made things for us. Thirdly, the Bible declares that Faith is the substance of things hoped. It is clearly in God's will that we 'possess things we hope for.....Last week(Sunday 10th February 2008) we looked at 'the ingredients of success'. .....In the first quarter of this year we will be examining the subject 'success' and how to make it this year. The title of our message today is Possessing my possessions.
Background to this message :
There are some things belonging to you that are not currently in your possession. There is no doubt that they are yours by right, but because they are not yet in your domain you cannot benefit from them fully. Because these things were designed by God to be your assets it is certainly in His will that you receive them. Therefore IN A NUTSHELL YOU NEED TO POSSESS(RECEIVE) YOUR POSSESSIONS(ASSETS BELONGING TO YOU)! God wants you to enjoy them, and to possess them.
Affirmation: Please repeat 'Possessing my possessions' to affirm to yourself that you are willing to receive all your God given assets.
Let me give you a few examples:
- There may be a house which God has intended to be owned by someone hearing this message.
- His intention for another person may be to usher in a life partner into the life of another person who has been waiting .
- Perhpas in your particular case, it may be 'a healing' you need from God.
- The need of another person may be transport related...God has prepared a brand new car for your possession.
OBJECTIVES FOR TODAY'S MESSAGE:IT IS MY BOLD DECLARATION OF FAITH THAT,
- After hearing this message each of you will 'POSSESS YOUR POSSESSIONS'.
- Furthermore you will understand how to become better positioned to 'Possess your possessions'.
Scripture Verses for Reference: Joshua 13:1; Joshua 14:6-14. Ephesians , 2 Peter 2
In Joshua 13:1, we can note the following:
- God is not a waster of resources
- If you 'observe the mind of God you will notice that He wants us to possess our possessions.
In Ephesians......It is obvious that ,
- in blessing us God's act is in the past tense. This is something God has already accomplished.
- We now have responsibilty first of all to understand what He has 'bestowed' on us.
- Secondly we must then ASSUME OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO POSSESS IT......................
AFFIRMATION: Say '...who has blessed us with ALL SPIRITUAL BLESSINGS' IN HEAVENLY PLACES.
Question:Are we indeed blessed with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places?
Answer: A 'yes' answer or an affirmative one also implies that God's blessings bestowed on us have covered and even exceeded our areas of need both on earth and in heaven.
ONE BIG DILEMMA WE OUGHT TO ADDRESS: If God has given us all things that pertain unto life and godliness then why is 'my life in its current state of need, lack and even desperation?' THIS IS INDEED A VALID QUESTION TO ASK.
Have you ever asked the kind of searching questions, that begin with why?
Here are few examples:
- Why am i in such lack?
- why am i in such need?
- why me?
- why not me?
My response to the question of why is to pose some revealing questions :
- Why are there dirty clothes?
- Why are some individuals unkempt and badly in need of a wash?
- Is it because of a lack of soap to clean?
An obvious answer:Certainly not! Although there may be a very good supply of soap and water to clean, soap would need to be applied in order to be effective. This illustration is certainly relevant when discussing spiritual principles. Until the promises of God in HIS WORD are applied to individual situations change will not be effected in our lives.
Majority of the blessings of God are received through knowledge
and you need to fight sometimes even for things belonging to you!
Galatians 4:1' Now i say that the heir, as long as he is a child, does not differ at all from the slave, though he is master of all, v2 but is under guardians and stewards until the time appointed by the father. ......
The above passages illustrate the truth that 'even though the heir may be the Lord of the Estate.....because of certain hindering factors his condition can remain equivalent to that of a 'bondservant' or even a slave within a designated estate:
- If he remains ignorant of his entitlements.
- If his growth is stunted or stagnated.
- If he remains immature.
Majority of the blessings of God are received through improving our knowledge about the issues concerned.
DON'T QUIT....BUT MOVE FORWARD USING THE PRINCIPLE OF NEVERTHELESS......
.........Luke 5:5' Simon answered and said to Him, '' Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at your word i will let down the net. v6 And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish, and their net was breaking.
- ' Nevertheless' is the phrase which underscores a determination not to quit or to give up.
- 'Nevertheless illustrates the fact that inspite of his previous unsuccessful attempts at fishing, Peter was prepared to try one more time. This time he made another attempt in response to the command of Jesus.
- 'Nevertheless' highlights the fact that Peter was prepared to respond even though the command Jesus issued was contrary to THE KNOWLEDGE PETER had acquired from his FIVE SENSES as veteran fisherman with experience of fishing.
Indeed he had toiled all night without success. In other words, he had what he knewat obecauased on what Gavi Peter's call to follow Jesus in Luke 5:1-10.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I AM JUST BEGINNING OUR MESSAGE FOR TODAY. THE PRINCIPLES AND ILLUSTRATIONS I HAVE ALREADY SHARED WERE MEANT TO PLACE THE MESSAGE IN TO CONTEXT.(END OF PART 1, CLICK POSSESSING YOUR POSSESSION PART 2 FOR MAIN MESSAGE).
Wednesday, 23 January 2008
Responding to God Orchestrated Offenses(Part 2)
Greetings in the name of Jesus.In my introduction to Part 1 i expressed the conviction that just like in the case of Job in the Old Testament God can sovereignly choose to 'Orchestrate' the offenses that come our way instead of preventing them. Are you confronted by a situation which has not responded to the usual perserverance in prayer, and spiritual warfare prayer techniques. Are you even working under the assumption that the root cause of your problems is a result of a curse placed upon your genetic lineage. More specifically have you determined that your situation is caused by a generational curse rather than the fact that God has placed you in a wilderness situation ?
In the Old Testament of the Bible there was a commonly held belief that 'THE INNOCENT NEVER SUFFER' and therefore if an individual WAS SUFFERING FROM AN AFFLICTION THEN HE OR SHE WAS HARBORING SOME SECRET SIN!
In Job 4: 7 One of Job's friends by the name Eliphaz asked a question which betrayed this assumption 'Now think about this: Which innocent person ever died an untimely death? Find me a decent person who has been destroyed.
He continued to assert in v8' Whenever I saw those who plowed wickedness and planted misery, they gathered its harvest.
Another friend Bildad went to the extent of suggesting in Chapter 8:4 that Job's children had been killed because of the consequences of their sinfulness.
If you read chapter 1 verses 4 and 5 it is recalled that Job's children enjoyed fellowship with each other.His sons with their sisters. Job maintained a responsible involvement in the fellowhipping . He did so by ensuring that (Read v 5) 'When they finished having their parties, Job would send for them in order to CLEANSE THEM FROM SIN. HE WOULD GET UP EARLY IN THE MORNING AND SACRIFICE BURNT OFFERINGS FOR EACH OF THEM.'
The reason Job practiced fellowship offerings was to ensure that AN OFFERING WAS MADE a)FOR SIN AND b)A BURNT OFFERING FOR PEACE WITH GOD. This is in line with what Moses had instructed the high priest (Exodus 9:7).
If we link this precedent with any inference or suggestion being made by Bildad Job's friend in Chapter 8:4 of Job , the reason for the tragedy involving his children was SIN! Bildhad was either not aware of Job's practice of priesthood or did not regard it as bearing any significance in GOD THE CREATOR'S EYES. In other words according to BILDAD'S THEOLOGY AND THE BELIEF SYSTEM ELIPHAZ ADVOCATED THE CONSEQUENCES OF SIN WAS ALWAYS (AND ALWAY) SUFFERING. THEREFORE SUFFERING IS ALWAYS THE RESULT OF PERSONAL SIN OR SIN CAUSED BY PHYSICAL LINEAGE.
ANOTHER EXAMPLE INVOLVES JESUS CHRIST THE SON OF THE LIVING GOD. JESUS CHRIST IS AN IMPORTANT EXAMPLE OF THE SUFFERING OF THE INNOCENT! IN A MESSIANIC SCRIPTURE WHICH PREDICTED THE SUFFERING OF JESUS WE SEE THE DEMISE HE WAS TO UNDERGO WOULD MPACT CULTURAL THINKING; IN A SIMILAR WAY AS JOB'S DID. CONTEMPORAL JEWISH THINKING OF JESUS' ERA WAS SIMILAR TO JOB'S DAYS.
ISAIAH 53:4: He certainly had taken upon Himself our suffering and carried our sorrows BUT WE THOUGHT THAT GOD HAD WOUNDED HIM, BEAT HIM AND PUNISHED HIM.
Why was Jesus Christ afflicted? Why did He have to endure such agony if He was innocent. BELOVED FRIEND, THESE ARE REAL ISSUES WHICH WE NEED TO CONFRONT. WE NEED TO ADMIT TO OURSELVES FIRST OF ALL THAT THE INNOCENT OFTEN SUFFER. WHEN THEY ARE SUFFERING AS IN THE CASE OF JESUS CHRIST, THE TEMPTATION TO BECOME OFFENDED IN GOD IS OVERWHELMING.
JOB CRIED OUT IN FRUSTRATION, AGONY AND PAIN. HE WAS NEARLY DRIVEN INSANE AS HE CONSIDERED THE PURPOSE IN HIS INNOCENT SUFFERING(TO BE CONTINUED).
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Look-Up Newsletter Issue 1 Vol 7
Look-Up Newsletter Issue 1 Vol 7 Editorial Dear famil y and friends, shalom blessings and a very Happy New Year to you in this still-fresh...
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A legalistic position is like this: It insists on lecturing a motor accident injury casualty on driving skills! Does it make sense? No! Why?...
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I WILL CONTINUE USING THE SCENARIO OF AN INJURED MOTORIST, AT THE SCENE OF AN ACCIDENT FOR JUST A LITTLE LONGER!A legalistic takes the posit...
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Look-Up Newsletter Issue 1 Vol 7 Editorial Dear famil y and friends, shalom blessings and a very Happy New Year to you in this still-fresh...